ugh ugh ugh

God where have I been? Answer, cooked food hell. Been eating LOADS of cooked :( sigh

What do I have to do? I can't understand this really. Read 12 steps to raw, read green smoothie book, have loads of yummy raw food and STILL I eat cooked. Is it cos I'm addicted or do I just really want to keep it in my life?

Last night went out with Lucy for food, had spring rolls, hummus (second portion that day) and sweet potato fries then had a bit of rod's falafel burger and chips later. Today had hummus and bread for dinner then two bowls of cereal with oat milk. Already thinking about going to grassroots and roots and fruits tomorrow to get more goodies. Vegan food really is lovely that's the problem!!

I do want to be raw. I want all the things that raw gives. I want the cooked too, it tastes so good. Maybe I just need to be more organised. Like plot a food plan for the week ahead? Doesn't leave much scope though. I need things to keep me busy in the evenings. How do I break this addiction? I keep telling myself that by having the green smoothies and salads that I'm still eating well, and it's true, but I'm doing more damage by then troughing my face with cooked. My skin has gone bad again from all this upset, high fruit, high fat and cakes and ice cream and alcohol. My poor body. Why do I insist on stuffing it full? I'm in two minds between fruit and fat. Fat keeps me satiated but fruit is healthier. I can't do both. Really not sure.

Argh!!!!!!!!